just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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