i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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