She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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