I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm passing your future prison.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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