none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
