and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
