He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
