i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
