So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
