We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you traded sex for a burrito?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize