the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
