Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The air was thick with penises
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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