would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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