You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
