I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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