I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
