i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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