new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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