I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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