With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
