Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
