shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Randomize
