For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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