Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
