how can u be prego again
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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