Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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