New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize