so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
