the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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