I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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