Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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