Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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