yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
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gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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