THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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