I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
