I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize