To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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