i was born a porn star she said
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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