Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
time to smoke my breakfast
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
