i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
