I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
