i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
