I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
