It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
