eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
