thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woke up backwards on a recliner
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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