i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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