I CAN MOONWALK!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
