"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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