I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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