Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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