Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
