Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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