Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
