you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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