i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
