last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
