Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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